Formal Apology to the Paparazzi Community

It is my belief that if you lie loudly, then you should scream the truth even louder after you recognize your wrongdoing. To those in Paparazzi Accessories, I was very wrong and it's time I share the truth.

I lied on God, and I lied before thousands. I said the Lord had given me favor to excel the way I did, but god and God are not the same two entities. I was part of the manipulation of the system and claimed the Lord's Hand had done this. It was wicked, and I repent to Him and you all.

I should have never received the awards and earned the trips that I did, but that's what happens to the unhealed, unlearned, gullible, idolaters, and wounded. You go along with what sounds right without discerning the moral or ethical behavior behind it.

Let me explain:

During one of my nighttime live sales, I made over $600, my largest sales night at that point. I was excited and called to share the news with the pastor. She invited me over to her house. I do not remember the exact reason, but I remember standing in her kitchen washing my hands and suddenly saying out loud to the Lord, “I do not want a team under me. I just want to sell jewelry.”

Why did I say that in that exact moment? I honestly do not know. Perhaps my spirit already sensed something that my mind had not yet recognized. Looking back now, I wish I had kept the vow I made to myself, to never build a team.

When I went upstairs to speak with the pastor, she began asking questions about the company and how it operated. I explained that my mentor had told me people often made significantly more money through commissions and by building teams. She immediately gave me a look and asked why I had never told her that before. Then, almost instantly, she announced that “God” had told her to “help me get to the top.” That moment became the beginning of something I deeply regret being part of. She immediately began contacting members of the cult, telling them they needed to sign up underneath me. And when I say everyone, I mean she contacted nearly everyone.

Worse, she personally paid for many people's starter kits, framing it as a "loan" (there is a reason I place quotation marks around that word).

She instructed members to create accounts under the names of family members and then operate those accounts themselves so they could increase their numbers, advance in rank, and ultimately push me higher up the ladder as well. She also purchased additional jewelry under many of those accounts to artificially increase my numbers and rank. The assignment was made clear: Push me rapidly to the top so I could later use my earnings to fund others doing the same thing. In less than twenty-four hours, I became widely known throughout the jewelry community because I had advanced in rank so quickly. At the time, I was recognized as the second fastest ranking consultant in the company.

Women from all over the nation began messaging me, asking how I was recruiting so many people and what I was saying to convince them to join. And I lied. I was told to tell them “God” had done it, but the hand of God was never involved in that deception. I did not deserve the awards I won, the trips that were paid for, or the recognition I received. I was elevated because someone had money and motives, not because I worked harder than everyone else. But it gets worse.

My life quickly became consumed by that world. She never stopped contacting people, telling them they needed to join. Out of nowhere, I was tasked with training all these women, and even a few men. I instructed by the leader to meet with each person individually, give feedback and coaching, go live throughout the week selling, attend vending events, and constantly promote the opportunity. Eventually, I quit my 9-to-5 job and became a full-time consultant.

The pastor began giving me money, which I never asked for, to purchase jewelry so I could model it, sell it, and continue building the business. My life became filled with late nights and early mornings centered around one thing: making money. What started as something I genuinely loved slowly became consumed by greed, and I began losing interest in it altogether. This mindset began creeping into Sunday services. People were constantly “prophesied” to that “God” was trying to make us wealthy through this company. Sadly, during one retreat, this topic crossed into outright witchcraft. Sometime during the second half of 2018, we were gathered at a retreat.

The pastor was ministering about something unrelated to money, at least from what I remember. Suddenly, she began “prophesying” over me, declaring that “God” was going to make me wealthy and that I would become one of the “first millionaires” to come out of that ministry. She placed her hands on my stomach and then told everyone who wanted to receive the same “anointing” to come and touch my hands.

She did not encourage people to rejoice with me. She did not tell them to pray for me. She did not encourage them to seek the Lord about His will for their own lives. No. She instructed them to touch my hands if they wanted the same “anointing.”

But anointing does not come from man. Pure anointing comes from God alone (1 John 2:27). Yes, God can use the laying on of hands through pastors or believers according to His will and Scripture, but touching another person in hopes of receiving worldly wealth and possessions is nowhere listed in the Word of God.

I remember the first $1,000 I had ever made from a vending event. She told me to give it to her because I owed her money. I remember how my heart felt holding it. I had never held that much money before, and it bothered me that everything I had just earned now had to be handed over to her. She often reminded me that whenever money came in, a portion belonged to her because she had given me money for jewelry. The very thing I never asked her for became something I was expected to repay.

I complied, but I remember the resentment and confusion growing inside of me: How is it that “God” told you to help me, when I never asked for your help, yet every time I get paid, I owe you?

Since when does God help someone and then demand repayment for His assistance? It felt completely contrary to His character, but I gave in and never questioned her.

Eventually, she decided to join the company herself, but she signed up under someone else’s name so no one would know it was her account. A family member initially joined, but after they lost interest, she took over the account and connected all the financial information to her own bank account. She also began purchasing jewelry to vend, but somehow, like most of her “business ventures,” I ended up managing everything while she stayed home in bed. Another person and I had to vend her jewelry and then hand over the profits from those sales to her afterward.

She was not disabled or physically incapable of working, but because she was “the pastor” and “the prophet,” she believed she had more important responsibilities to attend to.

Sadly, the boundary between ministry and business did not exist, and her use of “God” said became one of the main methods of manipulation and control used throughout the latter half of my ten plus years there. I became exhausted and lost interest in it all. I have never been motivated by money and was never one to chase ideas to become wealthy. Everything God ever blessed me to create started with passion and purpose, but the moment I allowed her involvement, it became about money every single time. And every single time, the business eventually failed, leaving me resenting the very gift God had originally given me.

As I slowly started pulling away, her threats and tantrums intensified. I was accused of not fulfilling the assignment of “God” and dishonoring the prophet because I was no longer doing exactly what she “prophesied”. She would tell me that I was making “God” look like a liar because I did not follow, again, “her instructions.”

Eventually, she told me that I would be required to repay all the money she had invested in helping me "get to the top," which totaled more than $26,000. According to her, I also owed another woman in the ministry, an elder who had invested thousands of dollars, even though I had never asked the elder for anything and had no idea the prophet had approached her on my behalf.

Every time I received a paycheck, my entire check was expected to go to her after I had given my tithes. And remember the money she had "loaned" people? According to the pastor, many of them never paid her back, and I was now responsible for that debt as well. Even though she had willingly given them the money herself, I now owed her because they had failed to repay her. --Except from Chapter 7, Topic of Deliverance: Modern Witchcraft, Pt. 1: If You Bow I Will Give You…

Read more in my book, Intolerable